Daughter

I've been watching a series about a mother-daughter relationship and I finally got to the end of it and it just made me reflect on my relationship with my own daughter. Things are changing. She's an adult now for one thing. Even if I don't want to, I have to let go a little bit. If I've done my job right, everything will be okay and if I haven't, it feels too late to change much now. I would say that last sentence to her and laugh but I would mean it and know that I've made mistakes and still hope I did my job good enough. She's always been very independent in her thinking. That is one of her most beautiful and most annoying qualities. :) I love that she thinks for herself and always has but sometimes I didn't realize that an independent thinker would disagree with so many of my thoughts and ideas. It surprised me where the differences would kick in but she gives me respect most of the time in spite of our contrasting notions.

She has this boyfriend now (she's had a few and this one's different) and he is incredible with her but it's hard sometimes. Our time & experiences together are being slowly replaced & they still exist and continue but it's not what she seeks anymore the way she seeks time & experience with him. I believe it's natural but no matter when it would have evolved into this shift of her attention, I would not have been prepared. In the show I watched, the boyfriend asks the mom if he can marry her daughter. Of course the mom is single but I just started thinking about it, about what an honor it would be to be asked if it's okay if everything changes. Chances are good that I won't get asked and my heart already sees her happy and sees her embracing a future that's right for her and that makes me want to sing out that of course it's okay but the formality of the asking might not hurt. Here is this girl that I started praying to get when I was 14 years old but had to wait a lot of years for and we've been through everything, even coming close to losing her and fighting to keep her on this earth. I know her and she has taught me what unconditional love really is, both by forcing me to love her through hardships I never imagined going through with her and also by her loving me back in spite of my shortcomings. I know our relationship has to change all the time in little ways because our lives change and adapting keeps a relationship strong but the big adaptations, no matter how wonderful they are, can be a challenge and I just hope that we can always be close.