Tipsies

Modern day tips baffle me. When it comes to tipping a server, I'm aware that they make such a small hourly wage that they really depend on tips to get by. I've always tipped as well as I can. When I have a really bad server and tip just 15% (only in dire situations where something went really wrong), I still feel a little bad. That's how I communicate service was bad. I don't just skip out on a tip altogether or anything like that. My hubster is the same. My daughter at times worries me she'll go homeless because she'd rather tip REALLY well than be able to afford her own groceries.

We don't have a problem with any of that. I have a job with Uber Eats and don't even make minimum wage unless people tip decent so I depend on tips to make any actual money. Even then, I know people pay a lot just to get their food delivered so if they don't tip, I don't take it personal. At times I work much less just because it can feel like I'm not making any money and I understand how much people can depend on tips to make out okay financially.

However, when I go someplace where it's $12 for a basic-sized sandwich and the worker specifically asks you for a tip, I hesitate. I'll be honest, I usually tip if I'm asked directly but I'm not proud of this. I feel bullied into tipping. I've met somebody who works for this particular sandwich shop and they make pretty good money for the industry as an hourly wage. They are not a waiter coming to my table to bring me things, checking up to see how things are going, or even cleaning up after me. I clean up after myself and throw my own garbage away. If they needed tips to survive, that's one thing but when they ask for tips on top of making a good wage and I just overpaid for a sandwich, I don't feel great about that combination. I was hesitant about paying for the sandwich there and don't go very often but if you add a tip, I really can't afford to ever eat there.

Our family has a drink establishment that we have been known to frequent. Their drinks are over-priced, just like most of the places where you would buy drinks outside of a grocery store. Their drinks are also delicious and difficult to replicate-we've tried!!! Not to mention, sometimes going there is a little about the drink and a lot about just going out for a drink or taking the kids for something special. We've reckoned with this and tried to find a balance with our visits and finances.

They recently started directly asking for tips when you order. Because one of our sons worked there this year, I know for a fact they pay decent wages. This makes me uncomfortable and I usually tip $1 if our order's less than $10 or 10% if it's more but I never feel good about it. I feel bullied into tipping when they make a living wage without tips. They have a tip jar. In the past, I have tipped several times when they seem like they really tried to help us have a good experience. Those are tips I feel great about. It's my way of communicating that they really did a good job. I didn't do it every time because they don't do a great job every time. Now I'm supposed to hand over extra money, before I even know how well they will do just because they asked for more? This makes going here anymore a near deal-breaker for me. I don't know what to do though. Are other people being guilted into tips, too? It seems a little cruel to the waiters that actually need tips to get by but this is just a dilemma I haven't totally figured out. The good news is that I'm not the most frequent visitor because I can't often afford the food prices to start with.