Musical Time Machine

There's a song that plays on the radio now that affects me so much!!! I don't want to say what the song is, just what it does. It takes me right back to a very specific time in my life. When I hear the song, I immediately feel young and free and like I can remember all my thoughts and views from that time.

It's back when I thought a lot about the relationships I'd have and I thought I knew how they'd go and what love would feel like. I was incredibly hopeful for my future. I couldn't imagine anything standing in my way of going and getting what I want out of life.

It's the most incredible feeling bursting with possibilities and optimism and hope. When the song ends, uh, things get weird for me. I feel really lucky. It's easy to name people I love and be grateful for a home and job and friends but I know that world I once believed in isn't really there any more. It feels like I'm not living in that world anymore. Some things went how I thought and how I wanted but a lot of things didn't. Now I've experienced enough sadness and pain and hurt and judgment and loss that I don't think anything is possible. I think there are possibilities but they aren't endless. I've experienced enough joy and accomplishment and forgiveness that I still hold onto little nuggets of hope. I just at times miss that other world.