More Jacob 5

It's been a while since I read Jacob chapter 5 in the Book of Mormon and was hit so strongly with a whole new meaning to some of those verses. I read it today for my first time since the end of 2020 and I can't believe how strongly all the emotions came back.

Once I pulled through those verses, I saw new meanings, too. Overall, the chapter is a story about the scattering and gathering of Israel and even though I don't remember each phase or understand the whole allegory perfectly, it did seem kind of beautiful to me in its entirety.

I also saw some parenting guidance there today as well. I love my kids and are so proud of them but in certain ways, I find myself really feeling like I have failed them. I should have done this differently or I should have found a way to do that better. Starting with verse 40, it says: 40. And the wild fruit of the last had overcome that part of the tree which brought forth good fruit, even that the branch had withered away and died. 41. And it came to pass that the Lord of the vineyard wept, and said unto the servant: What could I have done more for my vineyard? 42 Behold, I knew that all the fruit of the vineyard, save it were these, had become corrupted. And now these which have once brought forth good fruit have also become corrupted; and now all the trees of my vineyard are good for nothing save it be to be hewn down and cast into the fire...This is me just wondering if my shortcomings have corrupted certain successes for my children. The scriptures start talking about hope and at the end of 49 just asks again: "What could I have done more for my vineyard?" This is like asking "Where did I go wrong?", "Why didn't I do this differently?", etc.

and the verses say: 50. But, behold, the servant said unto the Lord of the vineyard: Spare it a little longer. 51. And the Lord said: Yea, I will spare it a little longer, for it grieveth me that I should lose the trees of my vineyard...and the Lord of the vineyard gets to work and labors diligently, which I think is like a parent who maybe worries but still keeps trying more ways to help their kids. To read on, we see: 73. And there began to be the natural fruit again in the vineyard; and the natural branches began to grow and thrive exceedingly...74 ...and the Lord of the vineyard had preserved unto himself the natural fruit, which was most precious unto him from the beginning...so if we just keep on working hard and trying our best, it will all be okay in the end.

I probably over-worry, especially when it comes to my kids. I just don't know any other way. Sometimes I just worry myself into not the best place. I need to remember these verses to remember all is not said and done. I'm going to make mistakes but those are just parts of caring for living things. Nurturing people and plants is not a perfect science but the results are incredibly fulfilling. It will probably be a year or more before I read this chapter again but so much is there. I love seeing something new each time!